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Future Home of the VFW Post 3225 Cooties
History of The Military Order of the Cootie
Consider the official uniform of the VFW's Military Order of the Cootie (MOC):
red pants with a white stripe running down each side; ruffled white shirt;
lace-trimmed red vest emblazoned on the back with a gold-outlined, bug-like
creature with flashing light bulb eyes; red, overseas-style cap worn sideways so
that the tassels dangle beside the wearer's ears. Surely whoever designed this
outfit must have had in mind the old saying that "clothes make the man." After
all, one of the principle objectives of the Cootie auxiliary is for its members
to have and provide fun for themselves and others.
The MOC can trace its ancestry to the Imperial Order of the Dragon - a similar
fun-loving auxiliary that was affiliated with the United Spanish American War
Veterans (USAWV). After World War I, two veterans who were members of both the
USAWV and the VFW thought that the VFW might be able to attract more members if
it formed an auxiliary modeled on the Imperial Order of the Dragon. These men,
Fred Madden and F.L. Gransbury, began recruiting members for the new auxiliary
on September 17, 1920, at the VFW National Encampment in Washington, D.C. By the
end of the encampment, nearly 300 members had been enrolled, and Fred Madden had
become the first Seam Squirrel (commander). Later that year, a complete slate of
officers was assembled and ratified at a special meeting held in Cavalry Baptist
Church in New York City. Madden developed a constitution and by-laws while
Gransbury authored the ritual. (Together with the official uniform, these were
approved in 1924.)
In the years after its founding, the MOC took on several special projects
designed to bring smiles to the faces of two special groups of people -
hospitalized veterans and residents of the VFW National Home. Its involvement
with the National Home came first. In fact, the Cooties were the first to back
Amy Ross's plan for the Home, and, in 1924, helped persuade the VFW to sponsor
the project. Since then, there has never been a period of any extended length in
which the Cooties have not been involved in some project for the Home's
betterment or for the happiness of those who live there.
Shortly after the Home was established, the Cooties began the tradition of
sponsoring the Home's annual Christmas party. They took it upon themselves to
make sure the residents had Christmas presents and a Christmas dinner, and also
that Cootie volunteers were always on hand to help organize and run the party.
Then in 1933, the MOC received permission from the VFW National Encampment to
build an athletic field at the National Home. Over the next few years, the
Cooties raised $15,000 for the field, which was dedicated in 1941. No sooner had
they finished paying for the field than the Cooties took on construction of an
outdoor swimming pool. Before this pool was dedicated in September 1950, the
Cooties had drummed up over $8,000 more than the $40,000 needed to build it.
The next major Home project was the brainchild of two Cooties, Collin Small and
Charles Millard of Ohio's Buckeye Pup Tent (local unit) No.2. Their "Operation
Fire Department" called for the MOC to give the Home a fire truck and a building
to house it, then train some of the older boys in fire fighting techniques. A
Home fire department, they reasoned, could give a much faster response time to
Home emergencies than fire departments of the surrounding towns. This operation
was completed in 1950, during Supreme Commander Ernie Moore's term.
Subsequently, the Grand (Cootie equivalent of a VFW state department) of
Maryland undertook the continual upgrading of the Home's real Fire Department by
raising the necessary funding through the sale of mythical commissions in a
mythical "National Home Fire Department." These fees allow the Grand of Maryland
to make contributions towards the National Home Fire Department's needs on an
ongoing basis.
At the 64th Scratch in 1985, the MOC approved the establishment of a Supreme
Escrow Account as an incentive for the National Home's children to further their
education beyond high school. Upon completion of a four-year college course, a
student receives a check for $500 for each year attended. A $250 reward is given
for each year courses are completed in a trade school or community college.
As dear to a Cootie's heart as its National Home projects are, auxiliary members
support its program for hospitalized veterans with equal enthusiasm. This
program got its start in the 1940's, when auxiliary members realized that World
War II would soon fill the hospitals with sick and wounded veterans. To help
these veterans keep their spirits up, many Cooties took it upon themselves to
entertain the patients. Soon Cooties all over the country were visiting
hospitalized veterans, pledging to "Keep 'em Smiling in Beds of White." Today
this goal is still one of the auxiliary's highest priorities. Many Pup Tents and
their Auxiliaries not only work with VAVS Hospital teams, but also perform
services of their own at VA Hospitals and nursing homes. Thousands of Cootie
hours and thousands of dollars are donated each year in carrying out this
program.
Although MOC and ladies auxiliary members enjoy all Cootie activities - from
supporting the National Home to visiting hospitalized veterans to helping out
the VFW - members also engage in many activities that are designed solely for
their entertainment. These include the method by which they govern their
meetings and various procedures followed within them. To describe these methods
and some of the other ways Cooties have fun would violate their bylaws, but it
is possible to provide a glimpse of how Cooties sometimes have fun in public.
Picture Main Street in a Midwestern city of about 25,000 residents on a sunny
Saturday morning in June. The sidewalks are crowded with shoppers, and traffic
on the two-lane thoroughfare is almost bumper to bumper. Three men in Cootie
uniforms, the lights on their vests winking, are sauntering down the sidewalk in
front of the city's largest department store.
Suddenly, one of the men glances heavenward and mumbles, "Oh, my God." The other
two look upward. As if they are watching the descent of a falling leaf, all
three slowly lower their heads until they are staring at the ground. Taking
small manuals from their hip pockets, the three sit down in a circle on the
sidewalk, legs crossed and feet tucked under. Opening the manuals, they begin
reading the service for a dead Cootie (most of it ad libbed as they go along).
Gradually a crowd gathers around the men, some of it overflowing into the
street. As the crowd grows and traffic comes almost to a standstill, two
policemen approach to determine the cause of the blockage.
One of the officers glances at the seated trio, then informs them, "You've got
three minutes to get him planted, then move on." As a knowledgeable member of
the VFW, the officer has quickly sized up the situation. Shaking his head, the
officer mutters, "Crazy Cooties," and walks back to his partner.
Attracted by this offbeat brand of humor and the Cooties' light-hearted approach
to problem-solving, at present there are about 37,000 Cooties in 1,000 Pup
tents. Membership is open to members in good standing in the VFW who have
displayed their willingness to work for the parent organization. The Military
Order of the Cootie Auxiliary (MOCA) draws its membership from the ranks of
women eighteen and older who have been active members of the VFW Ladies
Auxiliary for at least six months and who are the wife, widow, sister,
half-sister, daughter, foster daughter, or granddaughter of an active VFW member
in good standing. Today there are approximately 17,000 auxiliary members
contained in 597 Pup Tents.
HOW WE GOT OUR NAME
The name "Cootie" originated in World War I when the different armies were
massed together on the battlefields of France. Each country represented in WWI
contributed to what is now known as the Cooties, by amalgamation of lice. The
common American Greyback, the Black Algerian Schinnels, the great Blue Louse
from India, the British Blue Bloods, the Belgian Gold-Striped Heneckers, the
French Grey and the Gold Parisian Cooties were all thrown together in the
trenches and at once began to increase and multiply so that by the end of the
war we had the most intelligent Cooties that could be produced. They were known
to bite the soldiers at just the right time to save the soldier's lives; for
often when a shell left the German trenches the Cootie would bite the soldiers,
causing them to stoop and "scratch" at just the exact time that the shell would
pass over the place where the soldier's head had been.
Many soldiers, lying in their shell holes, were saved from death when the highly
intelligent Cooties, knowing that a shell was coming in their direction, would
bite the soldiers, causing such agony that they were forced to retreat to the
trenches or other places of safety for "shirt reading" and "seam running" while
the shell burst harmlessly in the places they had just vacated.
The Cooties Organization carries on in the same degree of usefulness. The
Military Order of the Cooties work for their parent organization, "the Veterans
of Foreign Wars", and continuing to do good for all whom they come in contact
with. They are always ready to help their Comrades, the Comrades' widows and
orphans, and contribute generously to the maintenance of the Orphanage at Eaton
Rapids, Michigan. At this orphanage a swimming pool and playground known as
"Cootie Field", a complete and modern fire department has been built and
financed by the Cooties.
The spirit of Comradeship and good will that exist in the Cooties is beyond
comparison in other organizations, for in the Cooties, Fun is King and
willingness to help in any cause for the betterment of humanity is our goal.
That is why the Cootie slogans are, "Busier than a Bee", and "Closer than a
Brother"!
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